It’s time for…American Idol!

American Idol, Season 6 *Season Premiere*
Starting out with the mediocre, the bad, and the what-the-heck-is-that?!

Let’s grab a Coke, and get started already.
We’ve a four judge panel tonight: the usual Simon, Paula, Randy, and guest judge Jewel. Twenty minutes into American Idol (starting auditions in Minneapolis, Minnesota), and I’m already saying, “Make it stop!” One of the biggest no-no’s has already occurred – a girl tried to sing another Idol’s songs (Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take the Wheel“). *shakes head* Silly people. Then, there’s the guy who just wouldn’t give up…Jesse. He sings like a little kid (Simon said as much in review), and he comes back singing more of the same thing, like his style’s going to grow on them, or something. No-no…not gonna happen.
The most popular phrase so far is by Simon, saying “other door” or “wrong door”, because the contestants keep trying to go out the locked door (vs. the unlocked one on the right side).
Oh my…next, it’s a look-a-like Apollo Creed (from Rocky), and he sings opera?!?!? ROFLMBO at the irony. Judges say I don’t think so, either. So, Buh-bye.
Halfway into the show now, and it looks like we may get our first potential singer. She’s a sixteen year old “crack baby” (hardships galore), and wow – she can belt out a tune okay–fabulous, but best so far, singing Jennifer Holliday’s “You’re gonna love me“. She’s the first go.
Uh-oh…back to the bad singers again. They’ve one girl singing…you could see her trying so hard, but it’s just not happening. Her attempt is “Kiss” by Prince. The judges “kindly” point out that singing is just not her thing. Ohhhh well.
Up next…yet another story (foreign import), big-belted Perla…she’s a go, thankfully to singing a second song, namely, Shakira’s “Hips don’t lie“.
They’re focusing on how the girls are kicking the guy’s butts at the moment…looking for a “real man”. So, they bring out a…umm…cowboy?! Oh, no…it’s a foghorn singer, that can’t sing. Buh-bye.
Ooooohh, a Navy man from the USS Reagan auditions…what a cute q-ball (dressed in his whites) is my first impression…sings a country song, namely Rascal Flatts, “Broken Wing“. Not too bad…a little raw, but it’s a go. (And, hopefully he’ll stick around my dreams tonight – tall and yummy!)
Lion-girl is the next memorable performace of the night. She comes in with a drawn Wizard of Oz cardboard, and sings “If I were king of the forest“, like the Lion in Oz. Scary one. *shudders* And, yet another bad guy (a vocal teacher, no doubt) follows, singing “I don’t want to miss a thing” by Aerosmith. As he does the falsetto part, Randy’s eyes almost pop out of his skull. LOL!! It looks like time for a career change. Although, for this situation, perhaps it’s like that old saying, “those who can’t do, teach”. *shakes head* That’s all I’ve to say about that [one].
Simon describes the next contestant as “Confident, without being irratingly precocious”. That’s a pretty fair assessment, for she’s okay. Michelle sings a country-ish song…thin girl, kind of pretty.
Holy-moley! My ears have just encountered a screech of dynamic proportions, as this one lady sings a song by Chaka Khan. She’s not going on, but the funny part is when the judges bring her boss into the room, and explains it all. Though she sings slightlybetter in front of the boss, she’s not good enough (singing-wise) for the show.
Okay, the weirdest “yes” vote yet…performing “California Dreamin‘” by the Mamas & Papas, this sixteen year old guy sings okay on the long notes, but he’s obviously nervous because he shakes with the rest of the song. The result — he makes it. If he continues, he may be the token nerdy guy of the season. We’ll see how this one goes.
Car girl Rachel is next with another soldier story (she and hubby joined at start of Iraqi war, and he’s still there), singing “His eyes on the Sparrow“…she’s eh-okay, not a gospel quality, but it’s a go from the judges, so we’ll see where this potential leads. She kisses her hubby’s pic as she leaves…*smack, smack* (literally).
Amazing Sarah comes next in the order, singing what could’ve been an automatic no. Her song is “Somewhere over the Rainbow“, and she wails on it, kind of like Katherine McPhee did it last season. Nice potential there, too.
Next up, the juggler named Jason…Twirling sticks while he sings. The judges say this one should try out for America’s Got [some] Talent (Simon’s paraphrase), and he leaves cussing a storm, saying how he’s never been so insulted in his life. Okay then…buh-bye.
A total American Idol fan named Brenna comes up, and starts rambling about Ace [Young] drawing a picture for her. She sings “Under Pressure“, and my head starts to split open…Aspirin time. She says she has ten years of training and a degree in vocal performance (to which everyone gives her with a “you’re kidding???” look). Well, at least she tried, eh. *shrugs*
It’s time for a montage of the battling Prince wannabes, singing “Kiss“. Randy sums things up saying that Prince will never [want to] be on this show again. ROFL
This next guy that auditions, admires Chris Daughtry (rock-style), and sings in a gravily-type voice for every song. The judges ask him what he’d do if it was Abba week, and so he goes out, learns “Dancing Queen“, and gravels back in, however he still ends up getting a no.
It’s sad when they trail off, hopes dashed. But, some do practically beg for it, it appears, whether it’s because of bad timing, out of tune, or just plain yikes. With hope,, they’ll all find niche…someplace else.

And, with kisses all around from Simon, the show wraps up, previewing next week with Seattle auditions, said to be the strangest auditions in the history of American Idol (thank goodness, in a way…Houston’s in the clear).

It’s a wrap – for better and the worst – g’nite! 🙂


2 responses to “It’s time for…American Idol!

  1. haha! most excellent! I’m quite humbled and thankful for that fabulous outline of the first show! I caught tonight’s however and kind of wish I hadn’t!!! Seattle had some of the weirdest people they’ve ever put on the show! lol anyway, you’re awesome! thanks! 😀

  2. hey thanks for the link to my idol blog on your sidebar. I have also added a link back to your blog on my affiliates page.

    TPL responds: another reciprocal link…very cool! *S* And, no problem, DJSlim…you provide great commentary / chat area on AI. 🙂

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